Family cats

Growing up in Lahore in the 1970s and 80s we had both cats and dogs as pets – with dogs in the front yard and cats (all of them adopted strays) in the back yard.

These days Nadia and I are the only siblings with a dog while most everyone else has cats. Nadia and I would love to get a cat as well, it’s just that Nadia is allergic to them.

On our recent trip back home I got the chance to spend some time with some of our family cats and, of course, take lots of photos of them :)

Toffee

My younger sister’s orange tabby cat. Very friendly. Loves to sleep on the corner table in the living room.

Toffee portrait

Photo of an orange tabby cat standing at the edge of a balcony, looking down the lens of the photographer's camera.

Toffee is not impressed with my photography

Photo of an orange tabby cat standing at the edge of a balcony, looking at the photographer behind the camera.

Henry

My younger sister’s white cat with blue/yellow odd coloured eyes. Not very friendly, but very happy for you to open the door to let him in and out of the room.

Henry eating his kibble

Photo of a white cat eating kibble out a bowl that's lying on a counter.

Henry interrupted

Photo of a white cat interrupted by the photographer while eating it was eating its kibble out a bowl that's lying on a counter. The cat has one blue and one yellow eye.

Henry at rest

Photo of a white cat with blue/yellow odd coloured eyes stretched out on a window seat in the sun.

Uloo

My older sister’s orange, black, and white calico cat. Very friendly, curious, and quite demanding when she wants pats and scratches.

Uloo is very interested in something off camera

Close-up photo of an orange, black, and white calico cat looking at something off camera.

Uloo at rest

Photo of an orange, black, and white calico cat sitting half on a marble floor and half on a little rug.

Nunu

My older sister’s black cat. Not particularly friendly with non-family members, so not easy to get photos of. But she is a lovely looking cat.

Nunu keeping an eye on things

Photo of a black cat sitting on a marble floor, next to a chair.

Billi/Billy

My aunt’s medium-haired tabby, a friendly adopted stray who hangs around the garden. I didn’t get to spend any time with her/him, but she/he very much wanted to spend time with us while we were visiting.

Billi/Billy wants to be let inside the house (or for us to come out and play!)

Photo of a medium-haired tabby cat sitting prettily on the verandah of a house, looking in through a sliding glass door.

Vintage Car Show Karachi 2024

I happened to be in Karachi for this year’s Vintage Car Show so I brought along my camera and took a few photos.

These are my two favourites. The rest I’ve included in galleries below, which means you’ll have to click each one to see its full, non-square-cropped version.

Favourites

Headlamp

Close-up photo of a headlamp of a silver coloured classic car.

Rolls Royce tyre and visitors

Photo of the front-left tyre of a classic Rolls Royce car. In the background of the photos are two preteen children looking at the various cars on display at this car show.

Cars

Hood ornaments and logos

Zooming in on details

Location and visitors

Trip to Pakistan 2024: places

I’m an aviation geek. That means I don’t just take photos of people, I also take photos of the places I go to. Or, well, go through :)

Melbourne Airport

Ground staff member waiting for the luggage containers to turn up

Photo of an airport apron that has a wide-body aircraft parked on it. The aircraft is in the process of being loaded with catering supplies. A roller ramp has been parked to the side of the aircraft. A member of the ground staff is sitting on the corner of this roller ramp, waiting for the luggage containers to arrive so they can be loaded into the aircraft hold.

The Etihad Boeing 777 that flew us from Melbourne to Abu Dhabi

Wide-angle photo of a wide-body Boeing 777 aircraft parked at the gate of an airport terminal.

Abu Dhabi Airport

This corner of Terminal A at Abu Dhabi Airport is quite empty at 2am

Wide-angle photo of large, high-ceiling, shiny, brand new airport terminal building. One one side of the building are windows that go from the ground to the fourth floor. From the angle the photo is taken you can see parts of all four floors, all of which are connected by escalators and elevators.

Waiting at at empty departure gate at Abu Dhabi Airport Terminal A

Photo of a large, heigh-ceiling, mostly empty airport departure gate. This section of the building is at least two storeys high, with a wide, elevated walkway running through the centre. In the departure are are several round-backed single-seater sofas for waiting passengers to sit on.

Walnut crescent cookie shaped lights at Abu Dhabi Airport Terminal A departure gates

Wide-angle photo looking up at a large, crescent shaped, white-and-cream coloured light fixture. This light fixture is mounted on a tall pillar along a first-floor walkway in a high-ceiling airport terminal building.

Walnut crescent cookie shaped lights at the new Abu Dhabi Airport Terminal A

Photo looking up at a large, crescent shaped, white-and-cream coloured light fixture. This light fixture is mounted on a tall pillar along a first-floor walkway in a high-ceiling airport terminal building.

Etihad Airways Airbus A320 aircraft taxiing to its gate at Abu Dhabi Airport

This was the Airbus A320 that flew us from Abu Dhabi to Karachi.

Photo of a narrow-body Airbus A320 aircraft in Etihad Airways livery taxiing to its gate.

Airbus A320 approaching Abu Dhabi Airport Terminal A gate 640

Photo of a narrow-body Airbus A320 aircraft in Etihad Airways livery slowly approaching a terminal boarding gate.

Airbus A320 getting settled at Abu Dhabi Airport Terminal A gate 640

Photo of a narrow-body Airbus A320 aircraft in Etihad Airways livery parked at a terminal boarding gate. The passenger boarding bridge (aka air bridge) from the terminal is in the process of being extended towards the front-left door of the aircraft and there are several ground operations team members walking around below the aircraft. And ‘Airside Operations Leader’ car is parked in front of the gate at which this aircraft has parked.

The Boeing 787 that took us from Abu Dhabi to Melbourne

Photo taken through large floor-to-ceiling windows of an airport terminal building of a wide-body aircraft in Etihad Airways livery parked at a gate. In the background you can see the airport’s weather radar and control tower.

The Boeing 787 that took us from Abu Dhabi to Melbourne

Photo of a wide-body aircraft parked at an airport gate. It is connected from its left side to the terminal building via a passenger boarding bridge (aka air bridge). On its right side luggage is being loaded onto it. In the background are the other terminal buildings of Abu Dhabi Airport Terminal A.

Karachi Airport

Heading from Karachi to Islamabad

Photo of an airport apron taken from inside a passenger boarding bridge (aka air bridge). The gate next to this one is empty.

Islamabad Airport

The Fly Jinnah Airbus A320 that took us from Islamabad to Karachi

Photo of a narrow-body Airbus A320 aircraft in Fly Jinnah livery parked on the apron at an airport. Several ground staff are walking around the aircraft, getting it ready to start deplaning its passengers and cargo.

Trip to Pakistan 2024: people

Nadia and I took three weeks off to go visit friends and family in Pakistan. Naturally I took several photos as we travelled from one place to the next :)

Selfie at Melbourne Airport before heading off on our holiday

We had an almost-10pm flight out of Melbourne, so we had dinner at Melbourne Airport right after we checked-in.

Selfie of a man and woman, both wearing black t-shirts, backpacks, and face masks, standing in an airport terminal.

All set to fly from Melbourne to Abu Dhabi

Neither of us minds having seats near the bathroom and neither of us minds sitting right at the back of the plane, so we picked seats in the second-last row of this Boeing 777 since that row has just two seats on the window side :)

Selfie of a man and woman, both wearing black t-shirts and face masks, seated in an aircraft. The two are giving a thumbs-up to the camera.

Selfie along the C-gates arm at Abu Dhabi Airport Terminal A

Abu Dhabi Airport’s brand new Terminal A is quite roomy (having been built for future growth) and is a surprisingly comfortable place to hang out for a ten-hour layover.

Selfie of a man wearing a bright orange jacket standing in the middle of a long terminal corridor, between gates C28 and C29.

Selfie to celebrate our arrival at Karachi Airport

Yay Karachi!

Selfie of a man and a woman, both wearing black t-shirts and face masks, standing next to their luggage at the international arrivals gate of an airport.

Ready for the first of our three flights back to Melbourne, this one from Islamabad to Karachi

It took us almost forty hours to get back from Islamabad to Melbourne (via Karachi and Abu Dhabi). This was the start of our first leg.

Selfie of a man and a woman, both wearing black t-shirts and face masks, seated inside an aircraft cabin during boarding.

Ready for the second of our three flights back to Melbourne, this one from Karachi to Abu Dhabi

This was the start of our second leg, waiting in the international departure lounge.

Selfie of a man and a woman, both wearing black t-shirts and face masks, seated in a departure lounge at an airport.

Waiting for breakfast at Abu Dhabi Airport Terminal A

This is towards the end of our twelve hour layover in Abu Dhabi.

Photo of a woman, wearing a black hoodie and face mask, leaning on a restaurant table in an airport. Behind her is a floor-to-ceiling window that looks out onto and airport terminal apron.

Selfie before boarding our flight to Melbourne

We’re making sure to stretch our legs and stand as much as we can before our non-stop, thirteen hour flight to Melbourne.

Selfie of a man and a woman, both wearing black tops and face masks, standing in a departure lounge at an airport.

Ready for the third of our three flights back to Melbourne, this one from Abu Dhabi to Melbourne

All aboard and ready to boogie (aka sleep) on this lovely Boeing 787 (yay!).

Selfie of a man and a woman, both wearing black t-shirts and face masks, seated inside an aircraft cabin during boarding.

We hadn’t been back to Pakistan since late 2019, so this trip was very much overdue and it was a great way to start the year.

20th anniversary

On 1 February 2004, Nadia and I got married at the Serena Hotel in Islamabad, Pakistan.

Twenty years later we went back there to take a couple of selfies :)

Selfie of a man and a woman in their forties standing in a nook in a hotel lobby.

Selfie of a man and a woman in their forties standing outside a large hotel.

Later that day we celebrated with food and, importantly, with cake.

Photo of a man and woman in their forties standing in a dining room along one corner of a large, rectangular dining table. In front of them is a caramel cake with “Happy Anniversary Nadia & Ameel” written on it. The woman is holding up the large knife with which she is going to cut the cake.

That cake, while delicious, wasn’t quite as fancy as the one we cut at our actual reception.

Photo of a man and a woman in South Asian wedding attire surrounded by their families on their wedding day. The couple are in the process of cutting a large, fancy cake that’s been placed on a table in front of them.

Nor did we make a meme out of the cake-cutting, like we did for our tenth anniversary :)

Photo of a man and a woman in South Asian wedding attire surrounded by their families on their wedding day. The couple are in the process of cutting a large, fancy cake that’s been placed on a table in front of them. The couple and several of their family members are laughing at a joke that’s just been told by someone off-camera. Written in Comic Sans font across the photo in a seemingly haphazard fashion are several phrases in broken English that represent a kind of inner monologue. This type of internet meme, known as Doge, was popular in 2013 and 2014. These phrases are “so marriage”, “much decade”, “giggle”. “wow”, “many love”, “very bliss”, “caaaaake”, “10/10 would marry”, and (bizarrely) “once even flow alive why go black jeremy oceans porch garden deep release” (which is the song list from Pearl Jam’s debut album, ‘Ten’, in case you’re wondering).

20 years later

The last time we were at the Serena Hotel in Islamabad we were dressed, well, a little differently :)

Collage of two photos, on above the other. The first photo, dated 1 Feb 2004, is of a man and a woman seated on stage and dressed in traditional Pakistani wedding outfits. The second photo, dated 1 Feb 2024, is of the same man and woman taking a selfie in a hotel lobby.

Happy 20th wedding anniversary Nadia!

2023 Boxing Day test at the MCG

Since moving to Australia in 2006, this is only the second time that Pakistan has played Australia in the Boxing Day Test at the MCG.

Nadia and I attended day three of the last test match, back in 2016.

Photo of the grounds at a massive cricket stadium, taken from an under-cover seat some distance away from the field.

This year I attended day one of the match with a bunch of family friends.

Selfie of four people seated in a row at a cricket match, three of whom are wearing Pakistan cricket team gear.

Here are some of the photos I took while I was there.

Lots of ways to get to Melbourne Cricket Ground

Photo of a sign post at the Melbourne Cricket ground showing the walking time and distance (in kilometres) from this post to Jolimont Railway Station, tram routes 48 and 75 along Wellington Parade, Flinders Street Railway Station, tram route 70 along Swan Street, and Richmond Railway Station.

Train tracks between the MCG and Melbourne & Olympic Parks

Photo taken through a wire mesh fence of half a dozen train tracks running between where the photographer is standing and several buildings and sports centres on the other side. A blue-and-yellow Metro train is running along one of these tracks. A covered, elevated walkway runs above the tracks.

Welcome to the Boxing Day test

Photo of an entry gate at Melbourne Cricket Ground, which about two dozen people waiting in short queues to get through security and ticketing. A large digital sign above the gate reads, in all capital letters, “Welcome to the boxing day test”.

Qantas Choir getting ready to sing the Australian national anthem

Photo of three rows of young women, all wearing an identical uniform of black shoes, black pants, and cream coloured tops, standing in choir formation inside a massive cricket stadium.

Qantas Choir singing the Australian national anthem

Photo of three rows of young women, all wearing an identical uniform of black shoes, black pants, and cream coloured tops, standing in choir formation inside a massive cricket stadium. On the other side of the large ground are the cricket players standing next to their respective country flags.

Cricketer Shaheen Afridi warming up before his bowling spell

Photo of a male cricket player, wearing an all-white kit, jumping in the air as part of his warm-up routine.

Cricketer David Warner batting

Photo of a male cricket player, wearing an all-white kit, standing at the crease and ready to face ball that is being bowled to him.

Young Pakistani supporter

Photo of a young boy in a while t-shirt and a green coloured Pakistan team hat watching a cricket match.

Cricketer Shaheen Afridi bowling

Photo of a male cricket player, wearing an all-white kit, about to release the ball he is bowling.

Melbourne Cricket Club Members Reserve stand

Photo of four tiers of cricket stands, each with a café, bar, or corporate suites behind them. A large sign on one of these seating tiers reads, ‘Melbourne Cricket Club’.

DJ Ash bringing the music to the MCG outfield

Photo of a male music DJ standing at his console while he chats to a man dressed in a bright, multi-coloured ‘Squad Pakistan’ shirt with a large dhol slung across his back.

Karachi Street Food stall outside the MCG

Photo of an outdoor food stall set up in a large garden. A sign above the stall reads, in all capital letters, ‘Karachi street food’. There are several people milling around the food stand, and a line to the food stand extends off-camera.

Long lunch-time line for the Karachi Street Food stall outside the MCG

Photo of an outdoor food stall set up in a large garden with picnic tables placed around it. A sign above the stall reads, in all capital letters, ‘Karachi street food’. A stall in the background has a sign that reads, ‘Sugarcane Juice’. There are several people standing in the garden, and a long line of people queuing at the food stand extends off-camera.

Remembering my mother on Pakistan National Women's Day

My mother, Shahla Zia, would’ve turned 74 today. (#FuckCancer)

In the time that she was alive, Ami played a significant role in women’s movement in Pakistan (one example: she was a founding member of AGHS, the first all-female law firm in Pakistan).

My younger sister, Maliha Zia Lari, is a lawyer who followed in my mother’s footsteps. And in this (bilingual) interview Maliha talks about my mother’s life, impact, and legacy. If you’re someone who knew my mother, this is worth a watch.

Brazen Hussies at Cinema Nova

Finally watched the fantastic Brazen Hussies documentary at Cinema Nova yesterday! If you haven’t watched this already, I highly recommend that you do.

I love hearing all the stories and reflecting on the parallels between this movement and the women’s movement in Pakistan in the 1970s and 80s and I grew up in. #SameSameButDifferent

Photo of the inside of a cinema, with empty seats in the foreground of the photo and the large cinema screen in the background. The text on the screen says: “Welcome back to Cinema Nova!”

Love Letters To Feminisms

Nadia and I had an excellent time this afternoon at ‘Love Letters to Feminisms: a live performance of feminist texts’. Organised by the Loving Feminist Literature collective, the event featured several writers, poets, academics, and performers who shared their works and the works of other feminists.

The performances were powerful and emotional, and each one resonated strongly with everyone in the room.

Nadia was one of the performers and she read a piece that honoured the Pakistan women’s movement and all they’ve achieved over the last few decades.

Nadia performing at ‘Love Letters of Feminisms’, alongside an Auslan interpreter

Bonus: the event was held at the Bluestone Church Arts Space in Footscray, which a lovely venue that looks great in selfies :)

Selfie in front of the Bluestone Church Arts Space on Hyde Street in Footscray.

Seriously, though, it was a joy to be among so many diverse and enthusiastic feminists in Melbourne. I look forward to attending more of Loving Feminist Literature’s events in the future.

My mother would have turned 72 today

I remember the afternoon of 12 February 1983 very clearly.

I’m six years old and I spend what feels like several hours swinging back and forth on the front gate of our house in Lahore, Pakistan.

Why? Because my father is there, with my seven month old sister in his arms, pacing up and down the driveway and across the front of our house, looking increasingly concerned.

My mother, Shahla Zia, whose 36th birthday it is that day, isn’t home. I don’t know where she is, really. I just know that she was full of energy when she left with her friends and work colleagues.

Me and my father in, I think, 1980. I would have been four years old at the time.

§

Many years and several women’s day marches later I connect the dots: this is the day the women’s movement in Pakistan celebrates as National Women's Day (or Pakistan Women’s Day, as it was called back then).

On this day, some three decades ago, 200 women activists took a stand for all the women of Pakistan. The year was 1983. Images of these women being beaten up by the police are now part of the country’s searing conscience.

These women defied the military dictatorship of the day by taking out a public demonstration in Lahore, despite martial law regulations that outlawed political activities, processions and public protests. These iconic women of the Women’s Action Forum (WAF) in collaboration with Pakistan Women Lawyers’ Association (PWLA) carried out a rally from Hall Road Lahore to the Lahore High Court to file a petition against the law of evidence which would reduce the testimony of women to half that of men. The accumulative trigger was the dictatorship’s unrelenting push to rescind women’s rights.

History has it that when these women reached the high court, the revolutionary poet Habib Jalib came to show solidarity with these women for their struggle for an egalitarian, democratic and progressive society and world order. He was beaten up by the police along with the women who were put behind bars for several hours.

National Women’s Day: Memoirs of trailblazing activists’ – Hassan Naqvi, The Express Tribune, 12 February 2014

Baton charge on protesters at Hall Road, Lahore. 12 February 1983. Photographer: Azhar Jaffery. (Source)

§

Today, on 12 February 2019, I’m in Melbourne, Australia.

I’m on the committee that’s organising this year’s International Women’s Day events at the company I work for. I’m working on a communications plan to showcase on social media how we're an employer of choice for women in Australia (as we have been since 2015).

One of the reasons I took this particular job (I got two job offers when I was looking for work last year) was because of how well Transurban scored on workplace gender equity. Now I get to tell people about it.

Compared to 1983 in Pakistan, I’m in a vastly different time and place – a vastly different world. A lot has changed. But, sadly, a lot hasn’t.

View from my office building on a rainy day.

§

Every year on 12 February my father writes a note to my mother, which he then sends to me and my siblings. (This year via WhatsApp!)

He writes about what we’re up to, where we are in our lives, and how proud he is of us. Three of us have kids (the other two, of which I am one, have pets) so he also talks about his grandkids and us as parents.

Ami and Abu, some time in the 1980s.

§

If she hadn’t died of cancer in 2005, Ami would’ve turned 72 today.

We all mark the occasion in our own ways, often with food – something Ami loved to eat. Today I’m having alu ka parathas for dinner.

I miss her.

Ami on her 50th birthday in Islamabad, Pakistan.

My Mother, the Women’s Rights Activist

When I was six I remember spending a few bored hours swinging on our front gate at our house in Lahore. I was there because my father spent those hours pacing anxiously up and down the driveway with my eight month old sister in his arms. It was years later I realized that this was the day that my mother, along with a few hundred other women from the Women’s Action Forum, had been arrested for staging a rally against our then-dictator General Zia-ul-Haq. Zia-ul-Haq was in the process of changing the country’s constitution by creating the Federal Shariat Court, a parallel court system that bypassed the Supreme Court. My mother, who had co-founded AGHS, the country’s first all-female law firm, had helped organize this rally. The police had tear gassed and baton-charged the protesters and had arrested dozens of them. That day, 12 February, is now celebrated as Pakistan Women’s Day. It also happens to be my mother’s birthday.

Shahla Zia at a protest rally in 2003

*start trigger warning about violence against women*

When I was thirteen my mother picked us up from school but, instead of taking us home, we drove for an hour and a half to the other side of Karachi where she had a meeting with some doctors and lawyers. We waited in the car outside the hospital for about an hour. On the way home she told us she’d gone there to see an eleven year old girl from a farming village who worked as a babysitter at her family’s land owner’s mansion. While there she has been raped, beaten, electrocuted, and held captive in a well. Aurat Foundation (AF), the non-profit my mother had co-founded a few years earlier in Lahore, was helping this girl and her family find shelter and legal representation.

My mother, by the way, was a constitutional lawyer and had previously been a criminal lawyer. When she was studying law in the 1970s she was one of six women in a law school of over two hundred men. She was the only woman in her graduating class.

Shahla Zia meeting with Nilofer Bakhtiar, President of the Women's Wing of the Pakistan Muslim League, in 2003.

When I was seventeen I dropped my mother off at her office for a meeting. She had established AF’s branch in Karachi and was now co-running its Islamabad branch. I was supposed to pick her up an hour later but, when I got there, there were a few police cars parked outside and an officer prevented me from going in but wouldn't tell me what was happening. I waited around anxiously for a bit but then went home and telephoned the office instead. My mother told me she’d call me once she was ready to head back, which turned out to be about four hours later.

They’d had a client at their office who had wanted to marry the wrong man; a man who was also of her own choosing. Her family had forbidden her from doing so but she and her now-husband had eloped. Her family had subsequently tracked her down and had made contact with her. She had sought help and had been referred to AF for legal advice. AF had negotiated with the family – who had said they wanted the client to come back home – so that afternoon they had organized a meeting between their client and two representatives from her family in order to discuss terms. However, before the two parties had met, one of the ‘representatives’ had slipped into the room down the hall where the client was waiting and had garrotted her. The murderer and associate had then then snuck out of the building without alerting anyone. From that day onwards there was always a security guard outside of my mother’s office.

*end trigger warning*

Shahla Zia at a panel in 2004

When I was nineteen my mother became a member of the National Commission on the Status of Women. The Commission was tasked with proposing amendments to the Muslim Family Laws Ordinance (1961). The committee held a two week long session in Islamabad when I was back home from college during the summer holidays and so, every day, I would drop and pick up my mother from the meeting venue. On the way home my mother would tell me about all the different ways in which the rights of women and minorities had been restricted by the law - and not just Pakistani law, but most of the legal systems around the world. It was quite an eye opener.

My mother, Shahla Zia, made a real, tangible difference to the lives of thousands, if not millions, of people in Pakistan – particularly women. Sadly, she died in March 2005 when she was only 58.

Mapping My Social Networks: Facebook, LinkedIn

Following on from my post on Immersion, the Gmail metadata mapping tool, I learnt of two other tools that map Facebook and LinkedIn metadata (i.e. your social graph). David Glance mentioned them in his article in the Conversation about the power of metadata ('Your social networks and the secret story of metadata').  

This is what my Facebook social graph looks like:  

What's cool about this network mapping is that, because people share a lot of information about themselves on Facebook and the tool knows who my friends-of-friends are, you can see one level deeper and find sub-networks within my broader social graph. Many of these are high school and university based sub-networks but some are also immediate-family groupings. 

The social graph that's probably cooler (and certainly prettier) is this one from LinkedIn Maps: 

This shows you that I'm connected to four major networks, one each for my two universities (LUMS and MBS) and one each for the two places I've worked at the longest here in Melbourne (Melbourne Water and Jetstar). 

And even though Jetstar and Melbourne Water are in completely different industries the kind of work I did (and am still doing) in both jobs is similar so the crossover space between their two clouds is where all my suppliers, vendors, and industry contacts are. 

One thing I've noted while doing all this mapping is the size of my network on each platform:  

  • Gmail contacts: 478 
  • LinkedIn connections: 505 
  • Facebook friends: 505 
  • Twitter followers: 776 

That's reasonably consistent and certainly above average for each of those social networks. I suppose that's a good thing. 

 

Immersion: Mapping My Email Networks

I've spent the last few days playing around with Immersion, a fabulous email network mapping project from MIT's Media Lab.  The project's creators describe this as "a people centric view of your email life" and what the tool basically does is create a network map of all your Gmail emails using the From, To, Cc, and Timestamp fields. 

Who Have I Been Emailing? 

You can can learn a lot from these maps. For example, here is what my email network looks like from April 2004 to July 2013. (I do actually have email from 1999 onwards in my Gmail account but, for whatever reason, Immersion only mapped my email from 2004 onwards. )

 

The person I emailed the most during this period was Nadia. After that, the network of people I emailed the most was my family. Obviously Nadia is also heavily connected via email to my family network. She is also connected with our Melbourne friends network and, to a smaller extent, my MBS (MBA) and LUMS (BSc) classmate networks.

The two other networks of people I emailed the most were my work colleagues at MBS and my other freelance jobs. 

Digging a Little Deeper

That's a high-level view but you can also divide this 2004 to 2013 date range into three distinct periods in my life.

The first is from 2004 to 2006, which is when I was living in Islamabad just before I came to Melbourne to do my MBA:  

Nadia and my family are obviously the largest nodes and network of nodes here, too. Aside from that, my LUMS classmates, my music projects (Corduroy and the F-10 1/2 project), and my other projects (earthquake relief) all have identifiable email networks of their own.

A couple on specific nodes are also interesting. Mosharraf, one of my seniors from LUMS and also a work colleague, is a connector of networks. And, on the upper right hand side, you can see my email correspondence with MBS starting to play a bigger role. 

The next period, from 2006 to 2008, is while I was doing my MBA at MBS: 

Here my MBS classmates network is a huge part of my emailing. That network also overlaps with the MBS staff network - from my emails to and from the Careers Centre team and my work colleagues from when I worked at MBS for a few months before graduating.  

Emails to my LUMS classmates have dropped of quite a bit, though I was still emailing Amanullah quite regularly. 

Finally, here is what my network looked like after I completed my MBA, that is from 2008 onwards:

Now a new network has popped up: my Melbourne friends outside of MBS. And, thanks to Facebook, I don't email my LUMS or MBS classmates as much as I used to.

That's really cool, isn't it? :) 

Summary Stats

Immersion also gives you a summary of your email stats, including who your top 'collaborators' are (and, if you want, you can also drill down further into your connections with each of these collaborators).

These are my overall stats and the stats for my two top collaborators: 

Yes, that's 20,879 emails with 194 collaborators over 9.3 years :)

My most active email sending years were 2007-2008, which was when I was doing my MBA. My most active email receiving years were 2010-2012 and I think those were because of Nadia, my family, my Melbourne friends, and various mailing lists. 

The group of people I email has stabilized over the last few years so the number of new collaborators I've been adding has dropped considerably. That's also because my Melbourne Water and Jetstar work emails aren't in Gmail so they're not counted here. 

Finally, the two people I collaborate most with are Nadia and my older sister Asha. I like that I've sent Nadia over a thousand emails, of which about two-thirds were sent just to her. Meanwhile I've sent Asha only 515 emails. Of those 137 were sent just to her, which makes sense because she's part of that big family network. 

So there you have it - my life in email.  

If you use Gmail you should check Immersion out yourself. It's fun to use and you can learn a lot about yourself and your email networks in the process. 

Microaggressions Blog

Nadia recently told me about the Microaggressions blog that, as the name suggests, publishes microaggressions.

The cool thing about this blog is that it publishes user-submitted stories (microstories?) and doesn’t limit them to just racially motivated encounters (which is what the term was originally coined for).

The blog is a great place to vent so, if you have any episodes to share, please do so.

My Experience

The kind of microagression that I come across most has to do with my language abilities:

[Usually spoken in a surprised and attempted-complimentary but actually-patronizing tone of voice] “Your English is really good!”

English is my first language but there are always people who will assume that, because I’m from Pakistan or because I don’t look like the dominant Caucasian population, that couldn’t possibly be.

Though, since:

  • I am male, largish in size (fat, not muscle, unfortunately), and whiter than the average Pakistani (so I don’t look “typically” South Asian);
  • my English is really good; and
  • I look and dress like a geek (sneakers, comfortable jeans, geeky t-shirt, Casio watch, glasses, bald, goatie…again, not “typically” South Asian)

not too many people say that to me directly.

The second most common one is to do with the numerous stereotypes people have of South Asian women. I won’t go into that here because…well, that can be a long story.

What Happens Next

The Microaggressions blog is great because it gives you a place to vent. But what’s sometimes more interesting is what happens after the initial exchange.

If you recognize what just happened you then have a choice of what to do next. You can:

  • do nothing and move right along,
  • react aggressively in return, or
  • make this a “teaching moment”.

What you choose depends on:

  • which of those options are actually open to you at the time (e.g. if you’re in large auditorium and the person making the presentation makes such a statement so you can’t do much till question time at the end),
  • how charitable, ticked off, or angry you’re feeling (which, in turn, depends on who made the statement and how they said it),
  • how many times you’ve heard that statement before in the last few days,
  • how tired you are of reacting to similar statements,
  • how well you think you can make your point,
  • who made that statement and how you think they’ll react to what you say next,
  • what the social dynamic of the group is,
  • and so on.

For example, when someone makes a generalized statement about Pakistan that perpetuates a stereotype but, in my opinion, they’ve said that because they don’t know any better, I will almost always try to correct them right then and there. (Though sometimes what I really wish I could do is sit them down and show them Chimamanda Adichie’s TED Talk on ‘The Dangers of a Single Story.)

If I think they’ve made that statement because they genuinely believe it, then I think more carefully before saying something at that time. Sometimes it’s better to address more complex points later on and one-on-one. Sometimes it’s easier to send a link to an article or blog post that explains things better than you can. I do, however, try to make a quick point by saying something like “Well, that’s not quite right…but we can talk about that later.”

Of course, none of this takes away from the sting, irritation, hurt, or anger that you might feel at the statement this person has made. Which, of course, is what the Microaggressions blog is all about.

How I’ve Responded

When people have complimented me on how good they think my English is I’ve generally responded in a couple of different ways.

The first is a quick dismissal of their statement:

PERSON: “Your English is really good!”

ME: “Well it should be! It’s my first language, after all.”

I generally say that to people who genuinely don’t know better (yes, some people do live under a rock). This highlights their stereotyping without making it a very personal retort.

Most of time these people will accept what I’ve said (often with a sheepish smile) and move on. I can remember only once instance in the last few years in which someone replied to this with: “No, that’s not what I meant. I just mean that your English is better than most of the people working here.”

I responded to that with something like: “Oh, okay. It’s just that I hear statements like this most often from people who have stereotypes about the English speaking abilities of people from South Asia.” (Though I didn’t say it quite like that at the time!)

Fortunately, this person was very open to the highly productive discussion on stereotyping that followed.

My second response is reserved for the people who do know better:

PERSON: “Your English is really good!”

ME: “Thanks! Such are the joys of having taught English for years and having worked as an editor whose job it was to correct others’ English!”

The idea being that I react as if they’d said that to someone they perceive to be a “native English speaker” (i.e. another white person). And since my English is usually better than theirs I simply…highlight that fact.

The response I haven’t yet used is one that I’m saving for someone who really deserves it:

PERSON: “Your English is really good!”

ME: “Thanks! So is yours!”

Or the one that one of my classmates at MBS suggested:

PERSON: “Your speak English really well!”

ME: “Thanks! So do you…for a white guy/girl.”

:)

Rest in Peace, Asim Butt

I heard just now that Asim Butt (1978-2010), my friend and classmate from LUMS, committed suicide on Friday. (I've been offline for the last couple of days.)

I didn't know Asim as well as I would have liked to but...well, I had always assumed I'd meet up with him some time in the future. My most recent contact with him was last year, in the months after I blogged about him, but I did try to keep up with everything he was up to.

I don't know what led to his decision. Indeed, we may never know. It's just incredibly sad that it had to come to this.

That's about all I can say right now.

Other have said more:

Danger of a Single Story: TED Talks, Africa & Stories from Pakistan

My favourite TED talk used to be ‘Benjamin Zander on Music and Passion’ (a.k.a. classical music with shining eyes).

It is now Chimamanda Adichie taking about ‘The Danger of a Single Story’:

You can find out more about Adichie on her Wikipedia page.

How Not To Write About Africa

Speaking of the “single story of Africa”, you must also watch Binyavanga Wainaina’s ‘How Not to Write About Africa’:

 

If you have the time, do watch Wainaina’s follow-up video (which is rather long, unfortunately) in which he explains why he wrote ‘How Not to Write About Africa’: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

You can find out more about Wainaina on his Wikipedia page.

A Message for Peace From Pakistan

Continuing with the single-story theme, check out Asher Hasan’s short TED talk called ‘A Message of Peace from Pakistan’:

You can find out more about Asher Hasan on his LinkedIn profile. Also check out his non-profit, Naya Jeevan.

More Pakistani Stories

This is why blogs such as these – which are written about Pakistan or by Pakistanis – are so important because they tell you much more about this country and its people than what you would normally hear, see, or read via global media outlets:

For many more Pakistan-related blogs, take a look at these lists:

Song of the Year: ‘Aik Alif’ by Saieen Zahoor & Noori

There are very few songs that affect me deeply in an emotional (and almost physical) way.

Saieen Zahoor and Noori performing a modern rendition of Bulleh Shah’s ‘Aik Alif’ at Coke Studio earlier this year is certainly one of them. This is my song of the year, if not song of the decade:

 

For more on this song:

Coke Studio Kicks Ass

I first heard of Coke Studio late last year but, when I checked it out, I wasn’t particularly impressed with its first couple of episodes. It was good stuff, yes, and I did like the idea…it just wasn’t all that great.

Then came Season 2 and everything changed.

But Wait…What is Coke Studio?

For all you poor, lost souls who haven’t yet discovered the wonders of Coke Studio:

Coke Studio is a Pakistani television series featuring live music performances. The program focuses on a fusion of the diverse musical influences in Pakistan, including eastern classical, folk, and contemporary popular music. The show provides a platform for renowned as well as upcoming and less mainstream artists, from various genres and regions, to collaborate musically in live studio recording sessions. [Source: Wikipedia]

Think of it as a combination of Later…with Jools Holland, MTV Unplugged, Live from Abbey Road, and the numerous musical collaborations you get to see at award shows like the Grammys.

Oh, and it’s produced by one of my favourite musician-producers, Rohail Hyatt (official site).

Okay, That Sounds Exciting (I think)…Where Do I Start?

Start on YouTube (see links and embedded videos below) by watching the videos that have been uploaded there (don’t forget to rate, comment, and favourite as you see fit). These are available both on the official Coke Studio channel as well as on other users’ channels.

Then visit the official site to download the audio and video of all the performances. Once you’ve been suitably blown away and you still want more (which you will), watch the behind-the-scenes videos for Season 2’s episodes, read the artists’ profiles, and contribute to the site.

And if you still haven’t had enough, check out the Coke Studios Facebook page and the songs from the show featured on Babelsongs (‘Great music translated’).

Let Your Journey Begin…

Start with these three videos.

‘Chal Diyay’ by Zeb & Haniya and Javed Bashir:

‘Aik Alif’ by Saieen Zahoor and Noori:

‘Husn-e-Haqiqi’ by Arieb Azhar":

You can thank me later.

Enjoy :)